By Zhang Yitao, Henan Province
“God, Your judgment is so real, full of righteousness and holiness. Your revelations about the truth of mankind’s corruption have left me thoroughly exposed. I think of how I expended myself and busied myself solely to gain Your blessing. I imitated Paul, toiling and working, so that I could stand out from the crowd. Your words of judgment made me see how selfish and contemptible I was. I fall to the ground feeling ashamed and abashed, too unworthy to look upon Your face. So many times I have looked back at the path I have walked. It was You who watched over me and protected me, leading me each step of the way up to now. I see how much it costs You to save me, it’s all Your love. O God! By experiencing Your judgment, I have tasted Your true love. It is Your judgment that allows me to know myself and truly repent. I am so corrupt that I really need You to judge and cleanse me. Without Your judgment, I would only flounder in darkness. It is Your words which have led me onto life’s path of light. I feel that loving You and living for You is the most meaningful pursuit. So many times I have looked back at the path I have walked. Your judgment and chastisement are Your blessings and true love. I will understand the truth and achieve a purer love for You. I’m willing no matter how much I suffer” (“God Has Given Me So Much Love” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). Every time I sing this hymn, I think of God’s salvation for me through all these years, and I am full of gratitude for Him. It was God’s judgment and chastisement that changed me. It made me—an arrogant, ambitious, rebellious son—appear a bit more like a human being. I sincerely give thanks for God’s salvation of me!
